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I’m trying to lose some weight, and one of the good things about Geodon is that at this high dosage, it decreases my appetite.  I would imagine that people who struggle to keep on weight would have to be careful with this medicine for that reason.  I wish I could just take a pill that would fill my stomach, because I hate eating.  Nothing sounds good or tastes good, except for sweets.  I’ve always struggled with my weight–staying anywhere between 10 and 25 pounds overweight, so even though my smaller jeans are fitting just right, I’m still not happy with what the scale says (or with my post-two pregnancies stomach).  I know that I’ll never get the body I’d like just from dieting alone, but I don’t have much energy or desire to exercise.  Even at lower doses, I’ve been able to keep weight off while on Geodon, compared to some other meds.  (See below).

Lithium–the worst! Gained 30 pounds in three months, was told by a psychiatrist, “The lithium isn’t putting the food in your mouth.”  (Maybe not, but it made me feel so hungry, I had to eat all the time).  LIthium also made me feel totally flat–as if I had no emotional response to anything.  Yuck.

Zoloft–moderate weight gain and also the sexual side effect of low libido and difficulty climaxing. Great.

Neurontin (or Gabapentin)–gained 25 pounds over the course of about 6 months.  George W. Bush got reelected around the same time–so I always joked that this was the reason for my depression.

On some meds there have been times where I’ve felt like my stomach just won’t fill up, no matter how much I eat (although I don’t try continuing to eat to try to solve the problem).  I get extremely bitchy when I don’t eat, and I’ve noticed with Geodon, I don’t really get like that either.  I’m trying to lose 10 pounds, but the scale isn’t budging.  Maybe there’s such a thing as a set weight, and my body doesn’t want to get off of it. 

Increased the Geodon to 160 around March 1st, started the Parnate on January 9th. I’m trying not to be dependent on the Atavan so I just take it when I’m feeling really anxious, or when I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep.

This seems to be a fairly decent medication regimen for me. Haven’t felt manic really since I started it, and the Parnate definitely helps with suicidal thoughts.

60 mg of Geodon at 7:15
Couldn’t even figure out the directions for my kindergartener to return a book to school.
Extreme irritability
2 Ambien to faciliate unconsciousness
No fish oil
No head rushes (postural hypotension–low blood pressure to the brain)

Took 60 mg of Geodon at 5:30
Could barely do yoga with my daughter because of the postural hypotension
(Not getting blood to my brain–almost passing out–kept having to sit down) 
– asleep by 8:30
crying and suicidal at 3 am

I saw a new doctor today who suggested I increase my dosage of Geodon to 60 mg.  ( He said that it’s a good mood stablizer).  He suggested that I stay on 20 mg of Parnate (no more) and suggested I call him if I get worse.

Today we got bad news about my son’s surgery  - the doctor we were hoping would perform it isn’t in my “network”, so they’ll only pay 60% of the “allowable” expense for it.  Why can’t they just tell me what it will cost with one doctor or another?  Why do they have to lie and bullshit me about codes and nonsense?  One of the doctors that is in my network does the same type of surgery, but they’ll only pay 80% of that.  What the **** do I pay for insurance for if I have to also pay for the services?  I hate these ****ing scams and everybody always wanting to get paid.  Somebody always wants to get paid for something. 

I wonder to myself if it weren’t for concerns over money if I’d still be feeling this bad, and I honestly don’t know the answer.

The parnate makes it so that when I stand up, I have to hold onto something or I’ll black out (”postural hypotension”, the doctor says–the blood isn’t getting to my brain–GREAT).  He’s afraid to take me off of it, though, because you have to be on nothing for two weeks before you can start something else, and he said that as long as “on this side” of me wanting to killing myself, we’re doing ok.  Is that the best that I can expect? I said.  “No, I’m just saying that if you’re feeling like that, we should do something right away” ##ck–let’s do it , then!  What do I have to do?  O.D.?

A friend of mine told me recently that she takes fish oil supplements and notices a huge decrease in her anxiety.  I just read a similar statement from a doctor online.  I’m going to start taking it and see if I notice an effect.  (The bottle says 3x/daily with a meal, and I took my first last night.  I’ll try to get in at least two today).